Have you ever felt lost when breaking up with others? Have you ever doubted if anyone better is going to love you so you settled for less? Have you ever been so caught up in an abusive and toxic relationship but couldn’t get yourself out?
Love is what we all want to pursue. And being loved is a strong affirmation that we are worthy of something. But relying on external sources for love and compassion might be dangerous and would sometimes get us blindfolded. That’s why when it comes to relationships, the primary one should be self-love.
I basically grew up with self-esteem issues. I had been called names since kindergarten and I’ve tried so hard to make others love me. When I grew up, I have been playing a submissive role in most of my relationships because of the fear of losing it all. I couldn’t truly commit to anyone and enjoy the happiness that love should have brought me. I have no idea how little love I have left for myself and how practicing self-compassion could change one’s life.
That’s why I want to share with you the actual benefits of self-love and how it is so important to love yourself before loving anyone else.
What Is Self-Love？
Self-love has become a popular topic that is literally everywhere. And it is not limited to relationships. But what is it actually to love oneself?
This is the primary condition of loving yourself. Self-awareness enables people to inspect yourself for who you truly are without the influences of other people or environment. By building up self-awareness, you are clear about your strengths, your passion, your weakness and vulnerability. This is a guarantee that keeps you away from blinded passiveness or narcissism.
2. Self-acceptance and self-appreciation
By accepting, you not only acknowledge the weakness or failures in the past, but you also find a way to make peace with them and learn to live at present. Also, you learn to appreciate your qualities and worth that nobody else could take away from you.
3. Self-care and self-management
By knowing and accepting who you really are, the next level will the confidence in yourself that you can be better. Maybe you want to be healthier, prettier or have a more successful career, you know you can have all the great things in life so you want to work for it.
Why Self-Love Should Come First
Self Love is no magic. It’s an attitude and it takes practices. Our goals will not be achieved in a sec just because we start to “love ourselves”. But what self-love can bring might be beyond imagination.
1. The way you love yourself defines how you want to be treated in a relationship
By taking care of yourself and appreciate yourself, you project an image of an independent character in a relationship. When you don’t need external affirmations to assure your value, you set the standard. You will not be afraid of being left alone because you know you deserve the best.
2. Loving yourself enables you to love others in a better way.
By loving yourself, you eliminate the unnecessary jealousy, insecurity, and anger from your relationship. Because you have learned how to appreciate yourself, you are more capable of appreciating others as well. You know how to be the best version of yourself and that helps to bring out the attractiveness and charism within you.
Side-benefits Of Self-love
Aside from one’s love life, self-love can benefit us in various aspects of life. It might be the best investment because a little effort every day can result in a huge improvement in our holistic health.
Here are some instant benefits that come with self-love:
1. Less Stress and Anxiety
When we love ourselves, we are less likely to be trapped in self-denial because of the current situation or minor failures. It removes the fear of being rejected and thus helps reduce stress and anxiety.
2. Higher Level of Satisfaction
Practicing self-love regularly not only strengthens our self-appreciation but also help us to see the world in another way. We are more likely to enjoy the real happiness in life such as love from our family, personal achievement or acts of kindness. At the same time, pure pleasure will have less control over our mind. So for people with addictions, cultivating self-love would essential and keeps them from replacing addiction with another.
3. A Boost in Attractiveness
Confidence is probably the first change we will see when we start to appreciate ourselves. It helps to remove the mental blockage of communicating with others and expressing ourselves. According to the Law of Attraction, when we are more confident and actually believe in our beauty, we will more likely to attract positivity and the love we want.
4. Stronger Motivation
Have you ever felt lacking the energy to hit the gym or go to work as you were supposed to? Don’t criticize yourself being lazy. Chances are you are under-motivated. Maybe you are not clear about your goal. Maybe you feel like impossible to reach it or maybe you are just tired. With a high level of self-awareness, you are more sensitive to the “low battery” signals of your body and take time to recover. It also helps distinguish our goal from obligations.
When you work or train because you want to be the better you instead of hating the current self, you will be more focus on the goal and spend less time procrastinating.
5. Better Health and Personal Growth
Self-growth is the best thing that happens on the trail of self-love. When you value yourself and focus the real happiness, you are less likely to allow the toxic relationships or bad habits to stay in your way. Instead, keeping a healthy diet, learning a new language, playing music and even the tiniest good can fill your life with content and enlightenment. Once the positive phycological cycle is built, your life will be automatically running towards the brightness and you will be able to be the better you.
So that’s it. Like I mentioned above, self-love is probably the best investment you can ever make and the returns are in your hand. So take some time to practice self-love and you will find your life different!