15 Warning Signs Of A Toxic Relationship

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We’ve talked about things to dump from your mind and your life that hold you back. Among all of them, toxic relationships are probably the most damaging to our well-being because they consume us from the inside.

We believe that you deserve the best things in your life. An unhealthy or even abusive relationship will take away the joy and happiness you should have.

No relationship is perfect, but if yours meet some of these toxic relationship signs, you should be reconsidering if it worth working for anymore.


15 Warning Signs Of A Toxic Relationship


You are constantly trying to please your partner

15 Signs that You Are In A Toxic Relationship - OurMindfulLife.com

A healthy relationship should inspire us to be better as a person. But when you are in a toxic relationship or dating a narcissist, you may find yourself turning into a complete people-pleaser.

You are always making extra efforts to please someone that is impossible to please. No matter how hard you try, you feel like you can’t live up to his standards.

The devouring despair is blinding you from seeing the other good things in your life. And that is an absolute sign of a toxic relationship.


Lack of respect

Mutual respect and trust are the two foundation of a healthy relationship. 

Sometimes we make jokes and call each other names. But if we truly love someone and care about his/her feelings, we will never let anything disrespectful come out of our mouth

There’s a difference between making fun and crossing the line. If he/she personally insults you without considering your feelings, you should really be thinking if he/she is the right one for you.

15 signs that you are in a toxic relationship and it's time to move on - OurMindfulLife.com


You feel uncomfortable to talk about problems

15 signs that you are in a toxic relationship and it's time to move on - OurMindfulLife.com

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No relationship’s perfect. But responsible adults know how to face and solve their problems.

If your Significant Other always yells, runs away from the topic or worst, blames you for everything when you are trying to talk about the real issues, he/she is not grown-up enough to treat you the way you should be treated.


You feel better off alone

It simply indicates that you are not enjoying the companion and presence of your SO

In this case, you will be more into talking with your friend or reading a book by yourself. And a date with your partner is simply a boredom or pain. 


“Future” is a taboo

Dating is a trial process of testing if the chemistry turns into a relationship.

When the dusts settle down, it takes sense of responsibility, communication and planning for a relationship to continue to grow.

If he/she taking your relationship as something long-term, you two should be both excited talking about your future together. 

But if all they do is to avoid the topic the best they can, they might not be emotionally available for a serious relationship.


You always got left alone when you need help

15 signs that you are in a toxic relationship and it's time to move on - OurMindfulLife.com

Mutual support is the touchstone of a healthy and strong relationship. When both of you are loving each other regardless of the hardships, you should be each other’s strongest back.

On the contrary, if he/she is never there when you need help and love, there’s a chance that your partner is not devoting into the relationship or simply being selfish.


You feel jeopardized by double standards

15 signs that you are in a toxic relationship and it's time to move on - OurMindfulLife.com

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“I don’t like that you spent too much time hanging out with your ‘coworkers’.”

“Well, I don’t like it either when you choose to go party with your friends without letting me know.”

“Are you saying that I am cheating on you? You are not trusting me.”

This is just any conversation with a narcissist partner. Narcissists never doubt themselves. It’s always someone else’s fault. 

They will try everything to point fingers at you even you’ve done nothing wrong. And this is the relationship you should be running away from.


You are always jealous

15 signs that you are in a toxic relationship and it's time to move on - OurMindfulLife.com

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Those who truly love you in the right way will spoil you with security and pleasure. A little jealousy is ok, but if that has become the theme of your relationship, you might need to consider the reason. 


You are drowning in his negative energy

15 signs that you are in a toxic relationship and it's time to move on - OurMindfulLife.com

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One of the signs of a toxic relationship is that you are guilty about feeling good. It almost seems like you are not allowed to be happy because your partner is not feeling the same.

Sadly, most narcissists lack empathy for others. Instead of celebrating your achievements, they may say things like “you are being lucky”.

It may sound harsh. But you can never change a narcissist or someone toxic. But you can make the decision to stay away.

Related Reading: 29 Inspiring Quotes to Help You Leave a Toxic Relationship 


You are always exhausted

15 signs that you are in a toxic relationship and it's time to move on - OurMindfulLife.com

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If you feel exhausted all the time when you are with your partner, that’s your body reacting to the unpleasant energy.

Remember your last boring job? The manager that is so hard to deal with? And the feeling of being drained back home every day? This happens when you force yourself to do something that you hate. 

It’s the same case with relationships. Your mind may take longer to admit it but your body tells you so much earlier. When a relationship is tiring instead of exciting, you may need to dig a little deeper to figure out if you are on for this.


Your efforts are not appreciated

15 signs that you are in a toxic relationship and it's time to move on - OurMindfulLife.com

Everyone wants to be needed and appreciated.

If your partner is not giving you any positive feedback no matter what you do, it could be that he’s taking you for granted. The lack of affirmations can be a toxic relationship sign.


You are the “invisible

If you are not dating a star of any kind, your relationship should not be kept in secret. 

Never find any photos of you together in his/her Instagram? None of his/her friends knows about you? Keep an eye on your partner because he/she may be trying to play “single”.


He’s always busy

15 signs that you are in a toxic relationship and it's time to move on - OurMindfulLife.com

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It is totally understandable to miss one or two dates because of a tight schedule. Not everyone can achieve perfect work-life balance.

But this keeps happening with different excuses, or if he/she has time for gaming, shopping and everything except for you, it’s a big warning of a toxic relationship.


You try to distract yourself from your relationship

15 signs that you are in a toxic relationship and it's time to move on - OurMindfulLife.com

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Sometimes it’s difficult to tell if a relationship is toxic or not because you are in the middle of it. 

But if everyone you know says so, there’s must be a reason for it. Once you step out of it and see it in an outsider’s perspective, you would be glad that you made the right call.


Everyone around you thinks that you are too good for your partner

15 signs that you are in a toxic relationship and it's time to move on - OurMindfulLife.com

Have you ever been in a toxic relationship that made you say “I should have known”? 

It’s not always easy to take a step back and see things objectively. That’s why your family, friends may have a clearer view of what’s actually going on.

When not only one but 2, 3 or more of them are telling you the exact same thing, you are probably in a toxic relationship.

Leave a comment down below and maybe you can save someone who is suffering or check out the quotes to help you leave a toxic relationship.

If you feel like stuck in an emotionally or physically abusive relationship, don’t hesitate to seek help at National Domestic Violence Hotline.

24 thoughts on “15 Warning Signs Of A Toxic Relationship”

  1. in in a toxic relationship my boyfriend calls me names when he doesn’t get it his way. he goes on dating sites behind my back all the time

    1. Hey Donna. Sorry about your current situation. Are you still with him now? Maybe you guys can talk things through and let him know about your frustration. But if he is a total bully, leaving him may be the best choice.

    2. Exactly the same here. He is my ex now. Don’t tolerate that sort of behaviour. If he is with you he should not be on datingsites

  2. Iam trying to move out of a relationship that become a toxic situation for me that consumes me and emotionally tired I was at the hospital and one of he friends tell him I was in hospital cause I was sick and He didn’t even send me a message I Used to feel safe with him now I feel in danger but I never feel free with him or talks about some tips of things now iam just understanding that if he stressing me instead of blessing and loving me I need to love myself and invest in me!

  3. I have unfortunitely been in quite a few toxic relationships in the past, which makes me feel like I am an expert when it comes to seeing the signs to let me know when or if I may be in one. Right now I don’t think that I’m in one at the present time, but it is still too early in the relationship to really tell if I am in one or not. However, so far I’m pretty sure that I finally got me a keeper this time. But my past last 2 relationships were both really, really toxic. They were so bad, no more like horrible. Each one of those that were listed up above were exactly what those relationships I was in before were like. All of those warning signs were there and then some. They were very physically and verbally abusive. I stayed stuck in one of those abusive relationships for 4 1/2 years without reporting the abuse to the police, until the very end when a witness had seen him choking me and throwing me down to the ground so he called the police and that’s when I finally pressed charges on him and made him pay for assaulting me in public. But that relationship was the hardest for me to leave. My last one was also just as bad. There were way too many lies, abuse, and a lot of cheating on me that happened, so I left him after 8 months of toxnicity and unhealthiness. Look, all toxic relationships are extremely hard to leave. But my advice to anyone who is now in one at the moment is to just LEAVE and to get out as fast as you can and run away from it, AND DON’T LOOK BACK!!! IT WILL NEVER GET ANY BETTER! TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS ARE VERY UNHEALTHY AND DOOMED FROM THE START! SO RUN!!!

    1. Hi Tina, thanks for telling your stories. I personally have mixed feelings reading your comment.
      I feel really sorry for what you’ve gone through. Those experiences are reminders that not all relationships are perfect and sometimes they suck.
      But I am glad that you’ve moved on and I believe that you are an inspiration for whoever reading this post right now but are still struggling to leave a toxic relationship.
      So happy for you:)

  4. this signs i have seen in my relationship . she always blame me without my fault . she leaves everytime when i needed her too much.

    1. I have been ,and still is struggling to save a toxic relationship . I feel very sorry for whoever is experiencing the same thing as I do.. Sometimes you can’t just run away from it right away..and when you do , you feel guilty for not trying the best you could to save it..It is really very hard and difficult. I thank you all for sharing this topic..

  5. I have been in two toxic relationship so far. One was a covert narcissist who is the worst human being I have ever encounter and the other was merely abusive. In both relationship the abuse started a fews months into the relationship. For the abusive ex….I usually felt a rush of anxiety whenever I am close to home thinking what mood he would be in. He would give me the silent treatment for no reason at all and if I don’t try to pamper him or beg him to talk to me he would get very angry. When he said something rude or disrespectful and I tell him he is awful he would grab my neck and throat and squeeze my face until it gets swollen. He also wanted me to be his maid and if I don’t attend to his every request at his timing he would get into RAGE. No one would think that of him because he appears to be quiet, humble and a family man. As for my COVERT NARCISSIST , I won’t even go there because if I speak of his ACTS I PROMISE, you will never sleep the same. That was my first experience of what EVIL is. I am not sure if my first ex was a narcissist he was abusive and have alot of anger but I am sure my last ex was a covert narcissist he was way more than abusive, he was EVIL to the point where it looks satanic. It was my first experiencing someone so soulless, cold, zero conscience and emotionally dead. I left them within most after see what hey possess.

    Please be careful and don’t ignore the red flags.

    1. Hi Lisa, how did you manage to leave the covert narcissist, or the abusers without getting them mad and taking revenge? I’m in a similar situation only I’m married to mine and worried what will happen if I give him divorce papers? Any advice would be a great help ty

        1. Catherine wairimu

          Hi Rose and Mina. The safest way to take is a separation before attempting to divorce a person who’d not think twice befoe hurting you. .

  6. I’m in a toxic relationship that I’m having a hard time getting out of. My fiancé and I live two hours apart which was not a big problem the first 2 years of our relationship, but lately it appears that it now is. My fiancé has reconnected with an old high school boyfriend, that she claims it’s just a good friend now. She is now sitting with his elderly grandmother has a part-time job, on occasion she has to stay overnight. I have discovered that the old high school boyfriend lives with his grandmother. She says she only stays overnight when your boyfriend has to work nights, but I have found out that there’s many nights that she stays here when he is home. She says that her bedroom is on the second floor and his is on the third. Does she think I’m stupid, that neither one of them can walk up or down stairs. There’s times when my fiancé has blocked me from texting or calling and I have found out that those times are when the old boyfriend is around. She has him listed in her phone as “My Bonham”, his last name, and has many pictures of him in her phone, the pictures of me are in a hidden folder in her phone. At one point he listed on his Facebook page that he was in a relationship with her, when I questioned her about it she said it was just for one around. But then she excepted his request and her Facebook showed she was in a relationship with him. When I told her that it hurt me to see that and I asked her to remove it she refused saying it was no big deal. I truly love her a great deal and even though my head says I need to walk away, and my friends say I need to walk away, my heart won’t let me. Am I that big of a fool?

    1. It’s always difficult before you actually leave a toxic relationship.
      She is probably manipulating you because she thinks you’ll never leave.
      Why not cool things down by not contacting her for some time to see how she reacts. And you’ll have some time to figure things out.

      1. Get. The. F@ck. Out. Now. She’s evil. Salvage the bit of dignity you can and grieve privately. She’s not concerned about your feelings. There’s zero respect on her part. Have enough self respect and self love to walk away and grieve on your own. Right now you are being a total door mat. No one looks at a doormat and says, “actually, no I don’t want to wipe my muddy shoes on that mat! I would rather be in a relationship with that doormat.”

  7. In my toxic relationship I was made to feel totally insane. He would recall conversations we never had and made me believe they were true. He made me believe I said things that I knew weren’t right, but because he did it over and over, I began to doubt myself. I found myself thinking too often, “maybe he’s right?”. I couldn’t tell him I went out with friends, as he would kick up a stink about who I wanted to see and why. Everyone became his enemy and because I didn’t want him to leave him, I started declining invitations from friends. I was so lonely. He isolated me from my loved ones. I spent one night in A&E on a drip because of panic attacks he caused by arguing and because I had my phone off all night and couldn’t reach me, he assumed I was at some cheap hotel cheating on him with who knows who.
    When I pulled the plug on this relationship he shared inappropriate photos of me with my friends, as punishment, as to him I was just a whore.
    Girl, don’t let anyone treat you like this. It’s not right, it’s not nice and most of all, it’s not love. Don’t be afraid to break free from the cycle of abuse.

  8. I am currently in a marriage with a narcissist partner. Before I ever heard the word narcissist, I blamed myself for everything and thought that he truly loved me. But deep down, I knew something was terribly wrong I just couldn’t put my finger on it. He would break up with me then come back after 2 weeks professing his love for me and how he couldn’t live without me. This was in the beginning, before marriage, and I hate that I didnt pay attention to these red flags. I took it as he must really love me because of the saying “if you love something, let it go, if it comes back yours.” Man, did that saying cost me 14 years of my life. We are now married 5 years with 3 children together. Fast forward, a friend of mine told me to look up narssicim. And boom!! All of my questions were answered. Everything made sense. I then became more angrier realizing that he had just been playing a game with me and my emotions. That I was just simply nobody to him. I had given up friends and my freedom out of ‘love and respect’ for him. Meaning, I sacrificed those things to keep him at peace. He didn’t like for me to hang out with anyone else but him so to keep the peace in the house, I just did nothing! This has been going on before I found out about him being narcissistic but the realization of me becoming a hermit to satisfy him enraged me. I no longer conversate with him because 1st, everything I saw turns into an argument… 2nd, I now realize he would use everything I saw against me in an argument. Now that I found out about his manipulative ways, he wants nothing to do with me. He told me, in one argument, that he’d be willing to accept if I no longer allowed him to see his kids. Something I’ve never even said I would do and absolutely something I would never do. He waited til the next morning to say he didn’t mean it but deep down, I know he does. Now we are living in the same house as strangers. I speak up for myself and front fall for his bs. So guess what…now gets wants a divorce. I’m angry with myself that I didn’t have the guts to leave, mostly for financial reasons, but I also realizing this new tactic of his. Discarding me. I’m no longer beneficial to him. He knows he can no longer feed off of me so I guess I’m no longer good for him. I know God will make sure me and my children are taken care of so I will give him the divorce he is now begging for.

    1. Hey Kiki, thanks for sharing your story.
      Not many people have the courage to take the first step and leave a toxic marriage, especially with kids. But you did it. So no need to be angry about yourself not making the attempt earlier. You are a strong, brave woman that deserves a round of applause.
      Best wishes and may everything works out well for you.

  9. I was berated n lie to for 12 years n cheated on many times then i use to get blame for everything now one day me just move on then told me he move on i am happy i am out of the relationship i am at peace

  10. I will say I am little bit I have been in some really bad relationships before I got bet up many times I put up with it for 11years but I got away thank God for that then I was homeless and loveing on the straight and yes I had to do some things I’m not proud of at all then I meat a great guy one day and we started to seeing each other and one day he told me he wish that I would get off the streets and I told him well u get me a home and with in pi ne week he had me a home but he never told me that I would never have to do what I was doing I should have just left then but it felt good having a home again and I feel in love with him bbn I love that man so much that I would have have gave my life CVup for him and that is the God honest TRUTH and I thought bbnour love would last forever I really did I have been with this man for over20 year’s and bbni am still in love with that man but he got a job as a truck driver and my hole world to up side down and I miss him so much when he was in training I agree that we had man like he was dead when everyone morning I woke up and I new that he had done me wrong I felt it in my heart and my gut but I just could not make meself to aseptic and my mother was dieing with cancer see I was going with him on the road right there at the end but I told him I’m we had to come home and he could fine a jod where he will be local and be home every day but now he didn’t do that he was really still going out of town the morning my mother died I beg him not to go but he was so determined to go and then the next thing I need he’s walking through the door my mother has passed away and this didn’t want to believe that he was running around ever since he became a truck driver and lasted almost four years before I really found out and he told me in a text he said that he only done it 3 time boy that was a lie he been doing it befor my mother passed away and I was just devastated because I still love me I’m home and promised me that you never do it again anyways sorry what are you doing crackhead digging and digging and asking questions he he so mad NFL not to take his wedding band off a battalion to see a girl from escort service the job and his got now he makes 23 dollars a hours and I told his boss man that he was doing it on there time but he my husband told them I was crazy because I told them I would have them shut down because I was paying my husband $23 an hour to cheat on me the name of the company is expeditors in Greer the trucking company off of Highway 14 63 years old I am 53 years old I’m still in love with you I don’t think you stop cheating on me he’s so secretive about anything I don’t know how to walk away he’s never put his hand on me are you so quick to hit me in a minute but yet I still love him I have no one else not down here on heart I want to go home I wish I could go to

  11. I have been in a toxic relationship for 18 years now. My husband has been diagnosed with border line personality disorder. Our relationship was the worst for the first ten years. He physically abused me frequently and cheated every chance he got. Then it got to the point it was just verbal abuse. I am really not sure which is worse. They both feel about the same. We have four children, our oldest moved out as soon as he was of age because he was physically and mentally abused as well. I hate myself for not protecting my children better. I have left numerous times, but he always weasels his way back in. I constantly feel stuck with him. I wish something would come over me and I could just break free. Recently he moved out for several months. Since he has been back he has been so nice, but I have seen this all before. For those of you that have went through it, how do you finally break free? I am at the point that I have been through so much that I don’t care if he changes or not. I just want to find my way out with my children.

    1. HHH, I can relate 100% my husband is the same way. He has BPD and he is absolutely horrible. No honor, no kind of respect, lies lies and more lies, repeated abandonment and yes cheating on me via online dating sites. It’s all been b’s from the start. I so wish I to get gotton out before saying I do. As for breaking free I’m keeping my own lil secrets these days. Saving my $$ even if it’s just $10 bucks here & there it adds up. I’m getting my ducks in a row and mentally preparing to remove him from mine and my children’s life for good! Good luck and God speed!

  12. It says 15 signs to a toxic relationship….it takes two people to be in a relationship. All the references to the person that’s being toxic is the male. As if the woman is incapable of administering toxic behavior.

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