15 Signs that You Are In A Toxic Relationship

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We’ve talked about things to dump from your mind and your life that hold you back. Among all of them, toxic relationships are probably the most damaging to our well-being because they consume us from the inside.

We believe that you deserve the best things in your life. A broken relationship will keep you from truly enjoying the happiness you should have.

No relationship is perfect, but if yours meet some of these signs of toxic relationships, you should be reconsidering if it worth working for anymore.

15 signs of a toxic relationship

1. You are constantly trying to please your partner

15 Signs that You Are In A Toxic Relationship - OurMindfulLife.com

An healthy relationship should inspire both of you to be better. But when your boyfriend/girlfriend is a demanding narcissist, you may feel impossible to please him no matter what you do. 

If you feel like you are making progress and doing things just to make him/her happy or to earn the attention, it’s a big red flag of a toxic relationship.

2. Lack of respect

Mutual respect and trust are the two foundation of a healthy relationship. 

Sometimes we make jokes and call each other names. But if we truly love someone and care about his/her feelings, we will never let anything disrespectful come out of our mouth

There’s a difference between making fun and crossing the line. If he/she personally insults you without considering your feelings, you should really be thinking if he/she is the right one for you.

15 signs that you are in a toxic relationship and it's time to move on - OurMindfulLife.com

3. You feel uncomfortable to talk about problems with your partner

No relationship’s perfect. But responsible adults know how to face with and solve their problems.

If your Significant Other always yells, runs away from the topic or worst, blames you for everything when you are trying to talk about the real issues, he/she is not grown-up enough to treat you the way you should be treated.

4. You feel better off being alone or with friends

It simply indicates that you are not enjoying the companion and presence of your SO

In this case, you will be more into talking with your friend or reading a book by yourself. And a date with your partner is simply a boredom or pain. 

5. “Future” is a taboo

Dating is a trial process of testing if the chemistry turns into a relationship.

When the dusts settle down, it takes sense of responsibility, communication and planning for a relationship to continue to grow.

If he/she taking your relationship as something long-term, you two should be both excited talking about your future together. 

But if all they do is to avoid the topic the best they can, they might not be emotionally available for a serious relationship.

6. You always got left alone when you need help

15 signs that you are in a toxic relationship and it's time to move on - OurMindfulLife.com

Mutual support is the touchstone of a healthy and strong relationship. When both of you are loving each other regardless of the hardships, you should be each other’s strongest back.

On the contrary, if he/she is never there when you need help and love, there’s a chance that your partner is not devoting into the relationship or simply being selfish.

7. You feel jeopardized by double standards

“I don’t like that you spent too much time hanging out with your ‘coworkers’.”

“Well, I don’t like it either when you choose to go party with your friends without letting me know.”

“Are you saying that I am cheating on you? You are not trusting me.”

This is just any conversation with a narcissist partner. Narcissists never doubt themselves. It’s always someone else’s fault. 

They will try everything to point fingers at you even you’ve done nothing wrong. And this is the relationship you should be running away from.

8. You are always jealous

Those who truly love you in the right way will spoil you with security and pleasure. A little jealousy is ok, but if that has become the theme of your relationship, you might need to consider the reason. 

9. You are drown with negativity

It may be cruel, but the transformation of personality takes a great amount of work, especially for adults. So never get into or stick to a relationship hoping that he/she is going to change.

Leaving someone that is too negative or depressed is not selfish. Not everyone is strong enough to handle a swirl. Instead of drowning together, the best that you can do is to find professional help for him/her, which is probably what they need the most.

Related Reading : 29 Inspiring Quotes to Help You Leave a Toxic Relationship 

10. You feel drained

If you feel exhausted all the time when you are with your partner, that’s your body reacting to the unpleasant energy.

Remember your last boring job? The manager that is so hard to deal with? And the feeling of being drained back home every day? This happens when you force yourself to do something that you hate. 

It’s the same case with relationships. Your mind may take longer to admit it but your body tells you so much earlier. When a relationship is tiring instead of exciting, you may need to dig a little deeper to figure out if you are on for this.

11. Your efforts are unappreciated

15 signs that you are in a toxic relationship and it's time to move on - OurMindfulLife.com

Everyone wants to be needed and appreciated. If your partner is not giving you any positive feedback no matter how much you do, it could be that 1) they are taking you for granted, 2) your efforts are unvalued to them.

12. You are the "invisible”

If you are not dating a star of any kind, your relationship should not be kept in secret. 

Never find any photos of you together in his/her Instagram? None of his/her friends knows about you? Keep an eye on your partner because he/she may be trying to play “single”.

13. Always busy

It is totally understandable to miss one or two dates because of a tight schedule. Not everyone can achieve perfect work-life balance.

But this keeps happening with different excuses, or if he/she has time for gaming, shopping and everything except for you, it’s a big warning of a toxic relationship.

14. You try to distract your attention from your partner

Sometimes it’s difficult to tell if a relationship is toxic or not because you are in the middle of it. 

But if everyone you know says so, there’s must be a reason for it. Once you step out of it and see it in an outsider’s perspective, you would be glad that you made the right call.

15. Everyone around you thinks that you are too good for him/her

15 signs that you are in a toxic relationship and it's time to move on - OurMindfulLife.com

Have you ever been in a toxic relationship that made you say “I should have known”? 

Leave a comment down below and maybe you can save someone who is suffering or check out the quotes to help you leave a toxic relationship.

20 thoughts on “15 Signs that You Are In A Toxic Relationship”

  1. in in a toxic relationship my boyfriend calls me names when he doesn’t get it his way. he goes on dating sites behind my back all the time

    1. Hey Donna. Sorry about your current situation. Are you still with him now? Maybe you guys can talk things through and let him know about your frustration. But if he is a total bully, leaving him may be the best choice.

    2. Exactly the same here. He is my ex now. Don’t tolerate that sort of behaviour. If he is with you he should not be on datingsites

  2. Iam trying to move out of a relationship that become a toxic situation for me that consumes me and emotionally tired I was at the hospital and one of he friends tell him I was in hospital cause I was sick and He didn’t even send me a message I Used to feel safe with him now I feel in danger but I never feel free with him or talks about some tips of things now iam just understanding that if he stressing me instead of blessing and loving me I need to love myself and invest in me!

  3. I have unfortunitely been in quite a few toxic relationships in the past, which makes me feel like I am an expert when it comes to seeing the signs to let me know when or if I may be in one. Right now I don’t think that I’m in one at the present time, but it is still too early in the relationship to really tell if I am in one or not. However, so far I’m pretty sure that I finally got me a keeper this time. But my past last 2 relationships were both really, really toxic. They were so bad, no more like horrible. Each one of those that were listed up above were exactly what those relationships I was in before were like. All of those warning signs were there and then some. They were very physically and verbally abusive. I stayed stuck in one of those abusive relationships for 4 1/2 years without reporting the abuse to the police, until the very end when a witness had seen him choking me and throwing me down to the ground so he called the police and that’s when I finally pressed charges on him and made him pay for assaulting me in public. But that relationship was the hardest for me to leave. My last one was also just as bad. There were way too many lies, abuse, and a lot of cheating on me that happened, so I left him after 8 months of toxnicity and unhealthiness. Look, all toxic relationships are extremely hard to leave. But my advice to anyone who is now in one at the moment is to just LEAVE and to get out as fast as you can and run away from it, AND DON’T LOOK BACK!!! IT WILL NEVER GET ANY BETTER! TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS ARE VERY UNHEALTHY AND DOOMED FROM THE START! SO RUN!!!

    1. Hi Tina, thanks for telling your stories. I personally have mixed feelings reading your comment.
      I feel really sorry for what you’ve gone through. Those experiences are reminders that not all relationships are perfect and sometimes they suck.
      But I am glad that you’ve moved on and I believe that you are an inspiration for whoever reading this post right now but are still struggling to leave a toxic relationship.
      So happy for you:)

  4. this signs i have seen in my relationship . she always blame me without my fault . she leaves everytime when i needed her too much.

    1. I have been ,and still is struggling to save a toxic relationship . I feel very sorry for whoever is experiencing the same thing as I do.. Sometimes you can’t just run away from it right away..and when you do , you feel guilty for not trying the best you could to save it..It is really very hard and difficult. I thank you all for sharing this topic..

  5. I have been in two toxic relationship so far. One was a covert narcissist who is the worst human being I have ever encounter and the other was merely abusive. In both relationship the abuse started a fews months into the relationship. For the abusive ex….I usually felt a rush of anxiety whenever I am close to home thinking what mood he would be in. He would give me the silent treatment for no reason at all and if I don’t try to pamper him or beg him to talk to me he would get very angry. When he said something rude or disrespectful and I tell him he is awful he would grab my neck and throat and squeeze my face until it gets swollen. He also wanted me to be his maid and if I don’t attend to his every request at his timing he would get into RAGE. No one would think that of him because he appears to be quiet, humble and a family man. As for my COVERT NARCISSIST , I won’t even go there because if I speak of his ACTS I PROMISE, you will never sleep the same. That was my first experience of what EVIL is. I am not sure if my first ex was a narcissist he was abusive and have alot of anger but I am sure my last ex was a covert narcissist he was way more than abusive, he was EVIL to the point where it looks satanic. It was my first experiencing someone so soulless, cold, zero conscience and emotionally dead. I left them within most after see what hey possess.

    Please be careful and don’t ignore the red flags.

    1. Hi Lisa, how did you manage to leave the covert narcissist, or the abusers without getting them mad and taking revenge? I’m in a similar situation only I’m married to mine and worried what will happen if I give him divorce papers? Any advice would be a great help ty

        1. Catherine wairimu

          Hi Rose and Mina. The safest way to take is a separation before attempting to divorce a person who’d not think twice befoe hurting you. .

  6. I’m in a toxic relationship that I’m having a hard time getting out of. My fiancé and I live two hours apart which was not a big problem the first 2 years of our relationship, but lately it appears that it now is. My fiancé has reconnected with an old high school boyfriend, that she claims it’s just a good friend now. She is now sitting with his elderly grandmother has a part-time job, on occasion she has to stay overnight. I have discovered that the old high school boyfriend lives with his grandmother. She says she only stays overnight when your boyfriend has to work nights, but I have found out that there’s many nights that she stays here when he is home. She says that her bedroom is on the second floor and his is on the third. Does she think I’m stupid, that neither one of them can walk up or down stairs. There’s times when my fiancé has blocked me from texting or calling and I have found out that those times are when the old boyfriend is around. She has him listed in her phone as “My Bonham”, his last name, and has many pictures of him in her phone, the pictures of me are in a hidden folder in her phone. At one point he listed on his Facebook page that he was in a relationship with her, when I questioned her about it she said it was just for one around. But then she excepted his request and her Facebook showed she was in a relationship with him. When I told her that it hurt me to see that and I asked her to remove it she refused saying it was no big deal. I truly love her a great deal and even though my head says I need to walk away, and my friends say I need to walk away, my heart won’t let me. Am I that big of a fool?

    1. It’s always difficult before you actually leave a toxic relationship.
      She is probably manipulating you because she thinks you’ll never leave.
      Why not cool things down by not contacting her for some time to see how she reacts. And you’ll have some time to figure things out.

      1. Get. The. F@ck. Out. Now. She’s evil. Salvage the bit of dignity you can and grieve privately. She’s not concerned about your feelings. There’s zero respect on her part. Have enough self respect and self love to walk away and grieve on your own. Right now you are being a total door mat. No one looks at a doormat and says, “actually, no I don’t want to wipe my muddy shoes on that mat! I would rather be in a relationship with that doormat.”

  7. In my toxic relationship I was made to feel totally insane. He would recall conversations we never had and made me believe they were true. He made me believe I said things that I knew weren’t right, but because he did it over and over, I began to doubt myself. I found myself thinking too often, “maybe he’s right?”. I couldn’t tell him I went out with friends, as he would kick up a stink about who I wanted to see and why. Everyone became his enemy and because I didn’t want him to leave him, I started declining invitations from friends. I was so lonely. He isolated me from my loved ones. I spent one night in A&E on a drip because of panic attacks he caused by arguing and because I had my phone off all night and couldn’t reach me, he assumed I was at some cheap hotel cheating on him with who knows who.
    When I pulled the plug on this relationship he shared inappropriate photos of me with my friends, as punishment, as to him I was just a whore.
    Girl, don’t let anyone treat you like this. It’s not right, it’s not nice and most of all, it’s not love. Don’t be afraid to break free from the cycle of abuse.

  8. I am currently in a marriage with a narcissist partner. Before I ever heard the word narcissist, I blamed myself for everything and thought that he truly loved me. But deep down, I knew something was terribly wrong I just couldn’t put my finger on it. He would break up with me then come back after 2 weeks professing his love for me and how he couldn’t live without me. This was in the beginning, before marriage, and I hate that I didnt pay attention to these red flags. I took it as he must really love me because of the saying “if you love something, let it go, if it comes back yours.” Man, did that saying cost me 14 years of my life. We are now married 5 years with 3 children together. Fast forward, a friend of mine told me to look up narssicim. And boom!! All of my questions were answered. Everything made sense. I then became more angrier realizing that he had just been playing a game with me and my emotions. That I was just simply nobody to him. I had given up friends and my freedom out of ‘love and respect’ for him. Meaning, I sacrificed those things to keep him at peace. He didn’t like for me to hang out with anyone else but him so to keep the peace in the house, I just did nothing! This has been going on before I found out about him being narcissistic but the realization of me becoming a hermit to satisfy him enraged me. I no longer conversate with him because 1st, everything I saw turns into an argument… 2nd, I now realize he would use everything I saw against me in an argument. Now that I found out about his manipulative ways, he wants nothing to do with me. He told me, in one argument, that he’d be willing to accept if I no longer allowed him to see his kids. Something I’ve never even said I would do and absolutely something I would never do. He waited til the next morning to say he didn’t mean it but deep down, I know he does. Now we are living in the same house as strangers. I speak up for myself and front fall for his bs. So guess what…now gets wants a divorce. I’m angry with myself that I didn’t have the guts to leave, mostly for financial reasons, but I also realizing this new tactic of his. Discarding me. I’m no longer beneficial to him. He knows he can no longer feed off of me so I guess I’m no longer good for him. I know God will make sure me and my children are taken care of so I will give him the divorce he is now begging for.

    1. Hey Kiki, thanks for sharing your story.
      Not many people have the courage to take the first step and leave a toxic marriage, especially with kids. But you did it. So no need to be angry about yourself not making the attempt earlier. You are a strong, brave woman that deserves a round of applause.
      Best wishes and may everything works out well for you.

  9. I was berated n lie to for 12 years n cheated on many times then i use to get blame for everything now one day me just move on then told me he move on i am happy i am out of the relationship i am at peace

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